Mother I Sober Lyrics by Kendrick Lamar (feat. Beth Gibbons of Portishead)
I’m sensitive I feel everything I feel everybody one man standing on 2 words heal everybody transformation reciprocation karma must return heal myself secrets that i hide buried in these words death threats ego must die but I let it purge pacify broken pieces of me it was all a blur mother cried put they hands on her it was family ties i heard it all i shoulda grabbed a gun but it as only 5 i still feel it weighing on my heart my first tough decision isn’t he shadows clinging to my soul as my only critic where’s my faith told you i was christian but just not today I transformed praying to the trees God is taken shape my mother mother followed me for years in her after life staring at me on back of some buses i wake up at night loved her dearly treaded in my tears for a Range Rover transformation you ain’t felt grief till you felt it sober
I wish i was somebody
Anybody but my self
Ooh I wish I was somebody
Anybody but my self
I remember looking ni the mirror knowing i was gifted only child me for seven years everything for Christmas family ties they accused my cousin did he touch you kendrick never lied but no one believed me when i said he didn’t frozen moment still holding on it hard to trust myself i started rhyming coping mechanisms to lift up myself talk to my lawyer told me not to be so hard on myself he has an aurora I hope to achieve if i find some help congratulations made it to be famous still i feel uneasy water watching live my life in nature only thing relieves me spirit guide whisper in my ear tell me that she sees me did he touch you i said no again still they didn’t believe me mothers brother said he got revenge for my mothers face black and blue the image of my queen that i cant erase till this day cant look her in the eyes pain is taking over blame myself you never felt guilt till you felt it sober
I wish i was somebody
Anybody but my self
Ooh I wish I was somebody
Anybody but my self
I was never high I was never drunk never out my mind I need control they handed me some smoke but still i declined sitting with myself i went through all emotions no dependents except for one let me bring you closer intoxicated there’s a lustful nature that i failed to mention insecurities that i project sleeping with other women Whitney’s hurt the pure soul i know I found her in the kitchen asking God where did I lose myself and can it be forgiven broke me down she looked me in my eyes is there an addiction I said no but this time i lied I knew i cant fix pure soul even in her pain know she cared for me gave me a number said she recommended some therapy i asked my momma why she didn’t believe me when i told her no I never knew she was violated in Chicago I’m sympathetic told me that she feared it happened to me for my protection though it never happened she wouldn’t agree know I’m affected 20 years later trauma has resurfaced amplified as i write this song i shiver cause’ I’m nervous I was 5 questioning myself lone for many years nothings wrong just results on how them questions made me feel i made it home 7 years of tour chasing manhood but Whitney’s gone by time you hear this song she did all she could all those women gave me superpowers what i thought i lacked i pray our children don’t inherit me and feelings i attract a conversation not being addressed in black families the devastation haunting generations and humanity they raped our mother then they raped our sisters then they made us watch then made us rape each other psychotic torture between our lives we ain’t recovered still living as victims in the public eyes who pledge allegiance every other brother has been compromised I know the secrets every other rapper sexually abused i see them daily burying they pain in chains and tattoos so listen close before yours tart to pass judgement on how we move learn how we cope whenever his uncle has to walk him from school his anger grows deep in misogyny this is post traumatic black families and a sodomy today is still active so i set free myself from all the guilt that i thought i made so i set self my mother all the hurt that she titled shame so i set fire my cousin khaotic for my mothers pain i hope Hakeem made you proud cause’ you ain’t die in vein so i set fire the power of Whitney may she heal us all so i set free out children may good karma keep them with God so i set free the hearts filled with hatred keep our bodies sacred as i set free all you abusers this is transformation
I wish I was somebody
Anybody but myself
Ooh I wish I was somebody anybody but myself
Whitney
You did it
I’m proud of you
You broke a generational curse
Say thank you dad
Thank you daddy thank you mommy thank you brother
Mr. Morale